When Jesus Isn’t Enough

Many years have passed and so many great things have happened since, but I still remember.  The pain has been taken away but the memory remains. Those words, those dreadful, awful words ” I’m sorry but there is no cardiac activity”, said the doctor in the most compassionate way possible.  See Rachel and I had been trying to have children for years, but all ended in miscarriage, five, if I remember correctly.   It got to the point that pregnancy produced more fear than joy. Driving home that afternoon was eventful.  Rachel is a fighter and although tears ran down her face she demanded answers; it was as if you had just struck a hornets nest and I wasn’t going to let her fight this one alone. Feeling helpless, I sat in my home office and began to do the only thing I knew to do- pray; nothing meaningful came out nor did any lightning from Heaven strike, so I sat quietly until I began to hear these words rise in me “You need more of me…”. Not understanding I just kept repeating “I need more of you, God”; it then grew into “I need more of you because what I have at this point isn’t enough…”.  Then it happened; the damn exploded and I began to see Him in a new way, difficult to explain but oh, it was good. Kinda like a McDonald’s chicken nugget, you don’t know what it’s made of, but with a little sauce and some fries, it’s finger lickin’ good (sorry KFC, I think that’s your line). After seven years of failure, I had learned you either give up or get more!  When the going gets tough, the tough get more Jesus.  I quote Dr. Munroe often but it is so relevant “All you know is what you’ve learned and what you’ve learned isn’t all that there is to know”.  I had known Jesus, but not this part of Him.  He is eternal, He is the I Am. When you feel your faith failing, ask Him for more! It’s as if you are at Thanksgiving Day dinner, the Detroit Lions have lost again, you’re starving but you only take a small piece of meat. It’s something but not enough. We’ve got to be believers that hunger for more of Him because despite how we feel is still God! This piece isn’t for every,one, but it is for someone. I cleared my morning to get this out as quickly as possible.  The grammar may be a bit sloppy, my thoughts not constructed as neatly as I would have liked, but you get the point.  When you feel Jesus isn’t enough, it’s time to get more of Him, not find an alternative.  Finish the week strong. See you in church! Oh yea, I now have four beautiful children. I had to actually ask God to turn the spigot off, because His blessings weren’t allowing me to get any sleep. 🙂 Norbert

Musings of Norbert